It is a complete surrender, a process of brutal self honesty. It is a path of complete acceptance of the truth, no matter how difficult it is to bare. I remember it vivid like a jigsaw puzzle coming together.
We go through life with so many false notions – of the world, of spirituality and of ourselves. We build up masks and we believe the facades. It’s all a charade. It is all based upon illusions and deceit. We deceive ourselves at every moment, and the world also deceives us at every moment. We live in perpetual cognitive dissonance, justifying the most absurd things in our minds. We constantly lie to ourselves…. and we believe it.
To awaken to the truth that you seek, you must tear down the lies.
But we are too attached to the lies. We want to hold on to the illusions and to become enlightened at the same time. That is not possible, it cannot occupy the same space at the same time.
The road to truth takes courage, discernment and self honesty, not many people have that. We have been weakened by the programming since our childhood. Most people want to remain in the herd, as they find comfort in the company of other such souls. It takes a certain individual to break free of the herd. It takes a certain type of person to walk that road; a person that is willing to give up everything to find true Self.
My story was one that took me through so many paths to nowhere; detours, darkness, beyond the comforts of my perceived reality for me to awaken. It was simply a matter of my time. As with awareness comes responsibility which many are not willing to bare.
Now the strange thing about this, is that worse things happened to me so why did this hit me this time so hard? Why this time I believe because it was supposed to, for me to transform and embrace who I really was, I was ready for.
The universe has a way of shaking you to the core, it’s part of the awakening process. In the past, I was strong, and I kept my sense of self, of who I thought I was. But this time, my sense of self, who I thought I was had already started to transform I stopped trying to be strong and in control and I embraced my mode of resistance, I surrendered to my calling.
I was no longer trying to push it away the suffering was gone, all was forgiven, and I was at peace.
My false perception of Self vanished. I remember feeling gratitude of the singing of the birds, the sun entering through the window, the wind in trees and everything around me was seen in a new light – a light of awe and amazement. My mind had ceased its chatter, I was experiencing a very deep peace.
And then it started – wave after wave of revelations, of deep knowings. I began to awaken to who I Am. I became acutely aware that I Am eternal unlimited the very matter that is of this universe. Each wave awakened me more to my deepest Self, each wave also shattered the illusions and deceptions of the world. As I awakened, my eyes saw a very different world. All the pieces fell into place.
When I look back at this, If it had been an easy ride I would not of awakened therefore this process did what it was meant for, I am now grateful and thankful to this and help others in their journey of awakening to the universe that is inside all of us.